i wonder if i will ever be able to feel the way that i do without the influence of other people. i fear that my happiness revolves around how well my social interactions went that day with the people in my life. when i am not social, i become bummed or surly. when things do not go my way with people in my life, i am confused and overly contemplative. my self esteem falters. i don't understand how people go for hours, days, even years without much contact with other people.

i wonder if i will ever be content with just being by myself.